solitude defeats solitude

"Adolescence is a break with the world of childhood and a pause on the threshold of the adult world... It is during this period that we become aware of our singularity for the first time.  But the dialectic of the emotions intervenes once more: since adolescence is extreme self-consciousness, it can only be transcended by self-forgetfulness, by self-surrender... The vision of the adolescent as a solitary figure, closed up within himself and consumed by desire or timidity, almost always resolves into a crowd of young people dancing, singing or marching as a group..." (Paz, The Labyrinth of Solitude, p.203)

My first thought when I came across this passage by Octavio Paz was, "I like it but... I don't know why." I had to read over this section a few times and ask for some help before I could understand what Paz was getting at; I think I get it now.  In our teenage years we begin to realize that we are individuals and we develop a sense of independence.  We realize that adulthood is fast approaching and we will become our own guardians.  The future can seem daunting, intimidating and lonely.  The natural response is to shy away and become a recluse.  Yet we understand that a friendless life is hardly a life at all--so we search for belonging in new places.  Our newfound independence become a vehicle for us to expand, find where we fit in, and overcome our solitude.

I recently saw the book-turned-film The Perks of Being a Wall Flower, and I can't help but see Paz's idea through the characters in that movie.  The movie follows Charlie, an extremely shy and somewhat emotionally disturbed high school freshmen.  Charlie literally doesn't have any friends and he lacks the skills to connect with he peers.  At this point, Charlie is the epitome of a loner.  But he makes the resolve "to not be a loser."  As Charlie tries new things he develops humble friendships, and then suddenly he is accepted into this group of misfits.  Out of his solitude comes the courage to stand out and be spontaneous.

Just like Octavio Paz writes, Charlie is able to surpass self-consciousness by self-forgetfulness. Solitude and adolescence go hand and hand; but so do adolescence and sociability.  How does this all work?  Well, this movie, The Perks of Being a Wall Flower, has helped me figure it out.  As youth we don't really know where we are headed and I think Paz wants us to understand that our journey starts with our solitude.  Then out of solitude we find the desire to--like Charlie says in the movie--"turn things around."